bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
are you so shy because you have an std?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Randomize
