Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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