make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
