grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Dicks are not precious.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
