You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
