He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
