took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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