Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
