we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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