As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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