Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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