I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
