Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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