She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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