Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
