Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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