I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
