just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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