would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
