white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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