when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
