I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
