I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
