when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
