Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
only if we run a train.
done.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
