I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
