where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
