wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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