he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
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