I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
