this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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