well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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