I saw his package. It spoke to me.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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