Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
