I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
smell my finger.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
