I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
