what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
