its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
