Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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