that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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