The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
