i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
