Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
