are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
