I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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