Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Randomize