is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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