; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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