Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
