do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
