You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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